Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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