butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize