I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
