was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
