Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
