i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
