My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
