Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
