we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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