i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
