she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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