dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
