I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
