Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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