arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
