just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
