I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
