yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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