Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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