best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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