Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
