you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
