last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
