this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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