so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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