I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I fill condoms, not promises.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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