Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
