Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
