Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
