What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
