I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
