my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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