That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
