New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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