I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So squirting runs in the family.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
