similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
