The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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