Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
