i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
