After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
