It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
