Buhtt sex?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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