with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
