I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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