I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
