i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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