Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
