her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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