Dual....:-)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
