Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
