Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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