Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
