she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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