Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
