No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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