apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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