just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
