Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
