I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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