Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize