I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
